“Living is being born slowly. It would be a little too easy if we could borrow ready-made souls.“ – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Flight to Arras, 1942
Noticed
When you’re sick, you enter a high-need zone that freaks a lot of people out. You can’t rely on your own strength and ability to do the simplest of tasks, and this means that those around you are often called…
Routine
We’ve settled into a bit of a routine since I began my treatment. I take my pills twice a day, morning and evening. I get about an hour and a half of clarity before the dose sets in with the…
Lingering
I do a lot of my thinking in the shower. Maybe because it is one place where I really have no obligations to muddle up my thought processes. There’s no one there but me and God. This morning, I was…
Kaleidoscope
Kaleidoscope. It’s one of those words that sounds as absolutely cool and complex as the object it describes. It is light and dark and crazy and fun and color and sparkle and imagination, all tangled up and out of this…
Exist
Pete pulled out an L’Engle book for me last night, A Circle of Quiet. Diane Cole from USA Today describes this book: “L’Engle’s chronicle is filled with a sense of the adventure of life, as well as with an awareness…
Suspense
It’s a little like being in labor, this treatment. There is no way out but through for me, and I know how it will play this time. I am not unafraid of the return of old symptoms as the medication…
Reckoning
I’ve been figuring lately, not in the numbers sense, but in the “something isn’t right, but I know I’m not wrong” sense. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it until yesterday, when I quite tripped across a…
Exposed
I told someone yesterday, I write my way out of the dark. I have to expose the feelings, the sentences, the lies – and everything else – to the light. I’ve never been able to keep it internalized. Even if…
Summer
The morning wakes eerie rose behind a thick cloak of gray today, a red morning rising, predicting the storms to come later, I suppose. The heat has been relentless here of late; it is hard to breathe when even the…