I told someone yesterday, I write my way out of the dark. I have to expose the feelings, the sentences, the lies – and everything else – to the light. I’ve never been able to keep it internalized. Even if…
Summer
The morning wakes eerie rose behind a thick cloak of gray today, a red morning rising, predicting the storms to come later, I suppose. The heat has been relentless here of late; it is hard to breathe when even the…
Break
I remember now, the way I woke up the morning after the never. I remember how I wanted to throw up, how the tears wouldn’t stop. I remember wondering how I would ever live again. I remember the words that…
Speak
I have hard things to say. I have hard things to live. Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying: “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you;…
Painting
REACH for a brush to stroke magic SWEEP vibrant life across blank canvas COLOR white with aubergine imagination DANCE through worlds all the way home SING the hued heart songs everyone knows BREATHE long and deep like babies do BE…
Time
“I realized that I want what the crones (the old gypsy women) have: time for all those long deep breaths, time to watch more closely, time to learn to enjoy what I’ve always been afraid of…” ~Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies…
Tired
I’ve been fighting this thing for ten years – or longer. I don’t really know anymore. It’s been too long. And it won today. My doctor says I need to believe I can get better, but I’m having a hard…
End
People talk about coming to the end of yourself. I’ve talked about it myself. I’ve been there and back, and I’ve half a God-desire to live there all the time, because that is where humility lives, in that deepest place…
Odd Grace
It has been the oddest sort of day. It’s that “odd” that comes when my skin starts to fit again after two weeks of out-of-body living, when fears that held me down reveal themselves unrealized, when things that don’t make…
Absent
I watch the news, talk to my family and friends; I want to fold up with sorrow. Tornadoes whipping across the Midwest. An active hurricane season predicted for the fall. Earthquakes, tidal waves, floods. Accidents, cancer, death. I feel as…