I crave creative company, gobble it up when I find it, talk too much, laugh too loudly – but I have stopped caring about the “too” for now. I am restless, waiting to see what will happen next, unwilling –…
Unwind
On Monday, she told me that it was time to let the real Kelly come out. My heart cracked, just a little, just enough. My mind went into slow motion, staring at her words, as my own words spun around…
When Real Life is Dust and Ashes
There is pain in this world that no words can touch. It slapped me in the face this morning with the news that a fellow photographer had lost her almost-three-year old this week. I searched in vain for words, anything…
On Feeling
It’s funny how sometimes you run from words for what you feel. You dance around it, writing sentences, paragraphs, full stories that never quite speak of it; they are all seemingly unrelated symptoms of something more. And then you lie…
When Nothing is Clear, Except…
There was a week I lived once, in which I stopped my introverted analysis of myself, stepped out, and told some people the truth about what was happening in my heart. It was the “never” week, the week that broke…
I’ve been thinkin’…
When have we ever been told by God that we should pray for Him to bring suffering in our lives? When did we stop asking for joy? Is there a “Christian” cynicism that causes us to believe that He is…
Roles or Relationship?
When I was younger and thinking about faith, my question used to be “what CAN God do?” Now that question has changed. Now I ask “what WILL God do?” The change in the relationship surprised me when this hit me…
Going Under
Today I don’t know what I have to offer anyone. It seems like everything I say or do is a copy of someone or something else, and I know this is how I learn, but I also know that the…
Sometimes it is all too much, you know.
Some days I go through the world, almost able to believe that I am in control of my own destiny, that I’m autonomous and I’m doing okay. But there are days too when I feel as though I must absorb…
What He Wants; What People Want; What I Want
I woke this morning and thought about spending time with God, thought about all the people who told me that every day was not enough, that a whole life was not enough – as if they were trying to pay…