Groan

Sometimes when I go out, I get the feeling that nobody sees me. I think other people feel that nobody sees them too; they don’t know I watch them walk past me, wonder what their world is like, wonder if they are running from something like I am some days too. “Care” is such an overlooked thing. People don’t see others as people until death enters the picture, but even then, death itself becomes a platform for self-gratification and the play of guilt pouring out from all our lives lived in the shadows.

Sometimes when I go, I get the feeling that everyone around me is mad, that we are all slowly driving toward insanity, because we were grown-ups before we were ever allowed to be children, because we are cut off so much that it is odd when I see someone make eye contact and smile at another person. Sweetness sounds funny coming out of my mouth; I would rather seal my lips than engage another person.

It is the indifference that destroys us, that sends planes into buildings and crazy men into schools. We’ve lost the value of life – we don’t want it anymore. We don’t know how to cling to it because we all live in this netherworld where nothing is real unless we all agree it is real, unless the majority acknowledges it happened and it is acceptable in our world.

But joy comes anyway, and even though He says to weep with those who weep, we cannot lose sight of the light that filters through the shadows. I will not stop smiling at the people I pass or stop speaking kindly to others when the opportunity presents itself. I will care ALL the days, not just the days when something horrible has happened. I will be mindful today and tomorrow and the next day so that I cannot be indifferent to life itself, so that I will always value the hearts of each one of us that God created in His image.

This is the day the Lord has made too – I will rejoice and be glad. The sun came up, and we are all still in the hands that held us when it went down yesterday. Nothing has happened that is out of His reach.

There is no part of our death that He will not redeem.

There is no darkness that the light won’t banish.

There are no words now but alleluia.